Today we are saying goodbye to Annie, the best cat in this or any universe. She’s been sick for a while, and we want her to go out tomorrow like she lived - with enough chutzpah left to hold her head up as she makes her way to cat Valhalla. Today’s plans include a party in her favorite room, with plates of treats she’ll sniff but probably not eat, a catnip sock she’ll probably ignore, lots of belly rubs, and a sunbath on the deck. (Because hairy, Viking cat warrior Annie loves to sit in the sun even if it’s 32 degrees.)

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Annie’s humans will be binge-watching TV in the basement with her later, so our laps will be available for walking across and cuddling on, and our chins can be used as cat backscratchers. Cuddles all around.

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We took a trip to her favorite spot in the trees. We used to walk her on a leash with her big hairy tail pointed up to the sky. People were always surprised to see a cat on a leash, and she’d walk by the dogs with her cool cat nonchalance as if she were thinking, so you’re a dog, big deal.

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Annie was a rescue. If you want to adopt a cat, contact a shelter or organization near you. because they obviously have a pipeline to the best kitties. We took good care of her. Annie was previously adopted and returned before we were lucky enough to see her and scoop her up. I have no idea why anybody in the world wouldn’t have wanted to take her and love her forever, but it was our gain. The cat rescue organization named her Raggedy Annie because she was so bedraggled when she was found on the side of the road. She seemed like an Annie so we kept her name. She became Anna Banana, Annie Bananie with the hairiest fanny, Asymmetrical Annie for her beautifully crazy markings, and a bunch of other embarrassing monikers, but she was never raggedy again, because we loved her and took very good care of her. Spoiled Princess Annie.

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We saw her at the Capital Cat Show, and Larry fell in love with her and said, “We’re taking this cat home.” I put my finger in the cage to pet her and she “love-nipped” my finger. Among all the beautiful thoroughbreds at the cat chow, Previously Raggedy Rescue Annie had won a preliminary ribbon! They wanted us to come back the next day and pick her up after the next round of cat beauty contests.

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Larry said, “No, she doesn’t want to be in this cage anymore. Call our vet and he’ll vouch that we’re great cat owners, and we’re going take her home.” So we did. Because crazy cat-loving people recognize two of their own when they see them.

                                                 

She promptly took over the house and our other two cats, and declared herself Queen (think Lagertha in Vikings).  She claimed the grand piano as her throne. She looked stately on her perch, but she was still a warrior huntress.

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Once we took her for a walk and she ran underneath someone’s deck and then popped back out with a live chipmunk in her mouth, which she then presented to us. We appreciated the thought but gave the chipmunk a reprieve. She was not happy about that.

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She was a warrior kitty. But it’s time for her to lay down her sword.

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So pet your kitties for us, fellow crazy cat people, and hoist your glasses (if that’s your thing) in a toast to the best cat ever, Annie. Hopefully, you have a cat in the same greatness category as our Annie. (Of course, they’re all elevens out of ten.)

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If you don’t have a great cat, rescue one. They’ll rescue you right back from:

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Gloomy days when you’re feeling sad.

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Cold beds.

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Sleep, when they want breakfast.

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Staring at your computer and working.

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Cicadas on the porch.

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Talking yourself too seriously.

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The turkey in your sandwich if you happen to put it down and walk away.

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Cat-hair-free sweaters.

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Thinking you’re the center of the universe.

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Cat-spit-free glasses of iced tea.

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And so much more!

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Rest assured, if you’re lucky enough to share a pet’s life, every tear you shed in sadness when they go will be the smallest drop compared to the ocean of happiness they will give to you during your shared lifetimes.

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We’re very sad about Annie, but we’re so damn happy we had her for long that we’re just going to think about that. She was the best cat. A superior piece of cat DNA. The pinnacle of cat achievement. Love you, Annie. Sorry about the chipmunk, Babe.

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